Stop, fasten your seat belts, because we’re traveling at light speed on the nostalgia train.

Barry Horowitz reached the Impact to win his first match. Yes, this is Barry Horowitz who was a famous jobber in the WWF and WCW in the 80’s and 90’s.

Sprinkle a little WCW’s Devil’s Kiss on, and we’re in for a wild time at the Impact Zone.

story Impact wrestling (February 16, 2023) is about Johnny Swinger’s quest for a world title. Swinger is a comic factor that no one takes seriously, except for sex dungeon aficionado Zicky Dice. Swingman is given benchmarks towards his goal. Win 50 matches, and he’ll receive a crack at the Impact World Championship. This was very much Scott D’Amore’s way of setting him an impossible task to get Swinger out of his hair.

So far, Swinger has not had any wins. Dice thinks Swingman needs a little bit of momentum to advance towards 50. He only thinks of the guy as an easy opponent for Swinger.

Swinger entered the match first on his Dice-heralded WrestleMania III mini-kart. The big reveal for Swinger’s opponent was Horowitz.

Swinger roughed Horowitz early with the help of a tackle from Dice. Horowitz turned the tide to unleash strikes into the corner.

Swinger used an eye poke to install the neck cap. Before Swingman could pull the trigger, the demon arrived on stage as a distraction. The Swinger and the Devil have a heat going back to the area days, Dad. Horowitz got an abdominal stretch and moved into a roll-up for the win.

At age 63, Horowitz is 1-0 in Impact. Horowitz inquired backstage if he could get the same deal as Swinger for a 50-win title shot. When Authority manager Santino Marella offered the Rhino to his rival next week, Horowitz decided not to push his luck. He came out from above and patted his back.

How’s that for a good time? Did you enjoy the rant featuring Johnny Swinger, Zeke Dice, Barry Horowitz, and the Devil of the Kiss?